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How gnarly is your content?
What year was your website launched?
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Do you review and update your content regularly?
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Cheuuh! Our content is totally awesome!
Nah, our content is pretty lame
Whoa! I’m clueless on this one
When was the last time it was reviewed/updated?
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Has your website been optimized for search engine results?
*
No duh! Of course it has!
Nope – search engines are bogus
Dude, what’s a search engine?
Does your website sell products or services?
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Yep, we’re legit e-commercelly awesome!
Not even, we’re not selling anything
Don’t freak out, but I don’t know
Does the content of your website have a clear Call-to-action (CTA)?
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Totally!
OK, it’s lame, but we really don’t
Dude, that’s a mega confusing question – I don’t know
How about visitor experience yo?
Have you ever tried using your website on a mobile device?
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Cheuuh! Of course I have!
No can do, I don’t ever look on mobile
Does your website feature customer reviews?
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For sure! Testimonials are righteous!
Nah, reviews can be so lame
Don’t freak out, but I don’t know
How quickly does your website load?
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2 seconds or less
Over 2 seconds
Whoa! I’m clueless on this one
Does your website have an SSL certificate (https://)?
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Yes way!
It’s heinous, but we don’t
Hmm… I have no idea
Does your website have a Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Accessibility Statement?
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Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
Accessibility Statement
Hmm… I have no idea
How bitchin’ is your online marketing?
Do you have a blog/news section on your website?
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No duh! Of course we do
Nope – news is so ‘87
Whoa! I’m not sure
How often do you post new content?
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– Choose an option –
Every week or more
Twice monthly
Every month
Every two or three months
A couple times a year
Once in a blue moon
Do you pay for advertising on Google, Facebook, or other platforms?
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Totally! Google is totally tubular!
Negative – isn’t Google for wannabes?
Don’t freak out, but I don’t know
Do you monitor online reviews and respond?
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Duh! Of course we do
Nah, responding to reviews is bogus
Don’t freak out, but I don’t know
Do you regularly review your website analytics (Conversions, Traffic, Etc.)?
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Affirmative! Analytics is most excellent
Not even! Analytics is gnarly
Don’t have a cow, but I’m not sure
Do you capture website contact info in a Customer Relationship Manager (CRM)?
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For sure! We have the most excellent CRM
OK, it’s lame, but we don’t have a CRM
Dude, that’s a mega confusing question – I don’t know
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